A superstar that belongs only to me
by LadyoftheCity
Summary: modern AU. MerlinPOV. It was a normal day. I was going back home after work when I saw him. A god among humans, my idol, Excalibur. That was my chance, my dream come true. Too bad it turned into a nightmare. Slash (yaoi), Merlin/Arthur non-con/dub-con (more warnings inside)
1. Prologue

**Title:** A superstar that belongs only to me

 **Pairings:** Arthur/Merlin

 **Rating:** M

 **Warnings:** yaoi (that is, the relationship between the characters is that of a _seme_ and his _uke_ ), sexual content, dub-con or non-con, mentions of porn, bullying, harassing and homophobia.

 **Disclaimer:** I own nothing of these. All credits go to BBC Merlin and the mangaka Nanami who created the great manga called 'Porno Superstar'. I fear I'm not as talented as these people :_(

 **Summary:** modern AU. MerlinPOV. It was a normal day. I was going back home after work when I saw him. A god among humans, my idol, Excalibur. That was my chance, my dream come true. Too bad it turned into a nightmare. Merlin/Arthur

 **Word count for this chapter:** around 200

 **AN:** It's been a while since I wrote an adaptation from a manga, so after 'Perfect' and 'A Toy with Sadness', here you have another! Remember! As I've just said this is a manga adaptation, that is, the manga in the novel format and with characters from BBC Merlin. So you see, I own nothing. Of course, this isn't intended as plagiarism but as a way to make more people aware of all the wonderful yaoi mangas and the talented mangakas out there. And also because I love Merlin so much that every book or manga I read, I relate it to Merlin and its characters. Anyway, this is just a small prologue. There are four more chapters to come. Let me know your thoughts on this! Enjoy!

-~oOo0oOo~-

 **Prologue**

It was just after work. I was going back home, the same as every day, when suddenly, I saw him. He was just there, a few blocks away from my office, in the middle of a crowded street. He just stood there like a god among humans, his sexy body clad in the most fashionable clothes, his golden hair tammed in a becoming hairstyle. On a closer look, he wasn't simply standing there. He had his hand on his ear. He was undoubtely speaking on his mobile phone, or more precisely, fighting with someone on his mobile phone.

I had stopped mid step merely a few meters away from him so I could hear him practically shouting things like, "Stop messing with me, you bastard. You said ten minutes... it's been more than that!"

His words were accompanied by some glaring but I couldn't care less. What were the chances of bumping into your favourite superstar in the street. Perhaps, I was dreaming but... was the beautiful man in front of me real?

"I don't care if you were sleeping, Gwaine!" he was still shouting. "Enough! I'm hanging up!"

However, the only thing I could think about was him. Just last night I had been watching one of his films while... well, while wanking. Didn't I mention he was a gay porn superstar? But not any porn superstar, he was my idol, Excalibur.

-~oOo0oOo~-

Thanks for reading!


	2. Chapter 1

**Title:** A superstar that belongs only to me

 **Pairings:** Arthur/Merlin

 **Rating:** M

 **Warnings:** yaoi (that is, the relationship between the characters is that of a _seme_ and his _uke_ ), sexual content, dub-con or non-con, mentions of porn, bullying, harassing and homophobia.

 **Disclaimer:** I own nothing of these. All credits go to BBC Merlin and the mangaka Nanami who created the great manga called 'Porno Superstar'. I fear I'm not as talented as these people :_(

 **Summary:** modern AU. MerlinPOV. It was a normal day. I was going back home after work when I saw him. A god among humans, my idol, Excalibur. That was my chance, my dream come true. Too bad it turned into a nightmare. Merlin/Arthur

 **Word count for this chapter:** around 4,300

 **AN:** Since the prologue is very short, here you have the first chapter too. I hope you like it!

-~oOo0oOo~-

 **Chapter 1**

That day started like any other day. Another plain and boring day in my plain and boring life. Nothing special. I woke up at 7 o'clock, had a quick shower, dressed, had a coffee and some toast for breakfast and commuted to work. I work in an office in the center of the big city of Camelot. The company is called Pendragon Advertising and I am just a mere employee there, managing some of the less exciting tasks. No, I'm not one of those talented people who are paid a disproportioned sum of money for creating annoying advertisements. I simply work in the accounting department, doing endless reports and accounts, which isn't so strange giving my Maths degree, which I finished a couple of years ago.

So, like any other day, I arrived barely on time to sit down at my desk and start to take a look through the pile of papers on it. Most of my co-workers were doing the same. However, that day something seemed off. People were more excited than usual, specially the women, something that was strange since there was little excitement in the accounting department. There was more murmuring than usual. Then, at break time I overheard Vivian and Sophia talking. Apparently, the manager's son was going to start working in the department the following day. As more harpies joined the group, I tried to stay away from them.

The truth was that I didn't have many friends at work. Well, neither at work nor anywhere. Proof enough was that the only people who ever called me on the phone were my mother, my uncle and boss of my department Gaius and those annoying telesales workers. Yep, my life was quite miserable as it was and I supposed it was a bit my fault too. You know, after the living hell I had to go through at high school because of my sexual orientation, I kind of withdrew into myself and became a very shy and reserved person, always trying to avoid people as much as possible in order to protect me from all their hurtful comments and disapproving pitying looks.

The result was that at the age of 26, I was a lonely virgin young gay with few prospects for the future. A melancholic unsociable and insecure guy that tended to be alone most of the time and really thought that it would be like that for the rest of my life, that one day I would die alone without knowing what it was to love and be loved. After all, who would want me? I was awkwardly skinny; my skin was too pale and my hair too dark; I had extremely big ears and high cheekbones that made me look suspicious; I needed big nerdy glasses and had no fashion sense whatsoever, which made me seem even more of a geek. So you see, I was condemned to eternal solitude, which was quite tragically romantic and... pathetic.

The only light of hope in such a dull life was Excalibur, beautiful sexy Excalibur. In my opinion, the best gay porn actor in the world. Since the first time I lay my eyes on him on a porn video, I literally fell in love with his sculpted body, his shiny golden hair, his enigmatic baby blue eyes and his attractive smirk. I am such a big fan of him that I have bought all of his videos and followed his career avidly. And what's more, I spent most of my days daydreaming about him and most of my evenings watching his films and wanking to them.

I sighed as I tried to block out all the whispered rumors flying in the office and concentrated on the never-ending list of figures on the screen in front of me. Gods, what I would give to go home already to a hot mug of cocoa and my favourite Excalibur film... What I would give for meeting him, for having him just once...

-~oOo0oOo~-

And there he was. Just a few hours ago I had been praying for this one in a lifetime opportunity and now that I had my idol in front of my very eyes, I had been rendered speechless. I simply was paralyzed by the magnitude of the moment. It was Excalibur. My handsome Excalibur. He was there... he was there...

Suddenly, Excalibur closed his mobile phone angrily, ending the phone call that had made him so mad. "I'm gonna kill Gwaine," I heard him murmur as he turned around and stepped away.

Then I realized it. If I let him go, I would never see him again. That was my chance. And I was ready to take it.

"Wait, please, Excalibur!" I shouted as I ran after him. "Wait!"

Excalibur turned around with a look of confusion. "What..?" He started to ask, looking at me a bit annoyed.

However, I didn't let him finish. A string of words escaped my mouth before I noticed what I was saying. "You're Excalibur, aren't you? I'm your biggest fan! I really love you!... I mean," I continued babbling, "I've bought all your videos and I really think you're the best _gay porn superstar_ in the world!" (thankfully I whispered the 'gay porn superstar' part). But then, "I just... I just would love it so much if you would be the one to deflower me..."

Excalibur's surprised face was nothing to the expression he made when he heard me say that. What the hell was I thinking?! How could I have just asked him to 'deflower me' as if I were a little virgin maid?! I'm really such an idiot! I tried to correct myself quickly, "That is, being with you has always been the biggest wish of my life..." No, that wasn't helping at all...

I had a mind to bang my head against the nearest wall when he looked around suspiciously and asked, "Is this one of those candid camera shows? Don't tell me, it was Gwaine's idea, wasn't it?"

"No... No, I..." I said quietly. I could feel my cheeks burning bright red in shame and I couldn't take it any more. "I'm sorry..." I mumbled before I turned around intending to leave as quickly as possible.

"Where do you think you are going?" He wrapped my arm in his strong grip and forced me to turn around and face him once more. "Were you just mocking me?" He asked after releasing my arm and crossing his on his broad chest, looking at me with frowned eyebrows. He was so sexy that my heart melted a bit in that moment.

"No..." I repeated shaking my head both in denial and to clear my muddled mind. "I wouldn't dare..."

And then it was my turn to be surprised when he took off my eyeglasses and brought his handsome face impossibly close to mine in order to examine me carefully. I wasn't sure what it was that he saw in me but it seemed to please him because his frown transformed into a sexy smirk.

"Well, as my plan has just been cancelled, I've got some free time on my hands." He looked me up and down. Was he leering at me? "There is a hotel near here. Wanna come?" He didn't wait for my answer. He turned around and led the way without checking if I was following him. Of course, it took me but a few seconds to go after him.

-~oOo0oOo~-

My heart beat so fast I thought I was going to die on the spot. And my mind, gods, my mind, was no better as I sat on the bed stunned by the dreamlike vision in front of me. How could I have come to this situation? Nothing as easy as following my dear Excalibur through a bunch of streets, watching him speak with a kind receptionist, entering with him into a lift and then into a comfortable-looking hotel room and there I was...

Excalibur had taken off his jacket and, more importantly, his t-shirt, and was just there standing in front of me as if waiting for me to do something while I was merely able to stare transfixed at his sculpted bare chest.

"What? Do you like what you see that much?" he asked conceitedly with a smug smirk painted on his luscious lips.

Of course, he must have realized by my drooling expression that I was completely spellbound. It took me a mighty effort to make my mind work and mumble as an apology, "Sorry for the staring... It's just... you look even better in real life..." It was so difficult to look away from his perfect body...

He simply laughed and answered, "Well, it must be that I'm too good to be real."

The atmosphere was getting more awkward by the moment with him standing half-naked just a few metres from me and neither knowing what to do. Then, Excalibur cleared his throat and commented casually, "So what do you want to do?" I raised my eyes and almost gulped. "Do you want to give me a blowjob?"

 _'Oh, my god.'_ I practically jumped out of my skin with anticipation. "If you want to... I... I'm willing... That is, I will do my best!"

Perhaps I was being too optimistic because the real thing was completely different. Not that part, though. That part was even better than I could have ever imagined. When Excalibur unzipped his jeans and lowered them along with his pants to show me his cock... It was perfect, really amazing. It was half-hard already, and the size, the colour... I just wished I could remember it forever!

I also noticed a small tattoo of a black elegant dragon near his groin. When did he get that? I had never seen it before on his films but it kind of suited him and made him even sexier... And then he approached me, his cock was just there before my eyes. I was almost touching it...

"Well, are you going to get on with it?" he taunted me.

And from there, everything went terribly wrong. My mind was as if in a trance, trying to understand the fact that this was real. My hands trembled as I tried to stroke his cock. When I brought my lips to his shaft I didn't know what to do. I kissed it a bit but when I tried to engulf it in my mouth, it didn't fit. It felt so big and heavy. I slurped on his length and gagged as I pushed more and more of him in me. And my tongue... Should I be doing something with it? Licking? Could I lick while sucking?

I tried several things, savouring every time the intoxicating scent, the delicious salty taste. However, every single time I stole a quick glance at Excalibur's face, I found him with his eyes closed and an impassive expression as if he were concentrating on something, but no trace of pleasure at all. I redoubled my efforts, sucking more and bringing more and more of his cock into my mouth. It didn't work.

"Hey, it's enough already." He stopped me with a hand on my hair, pulling me away from the horrible job I was doing. "Your technique is really bad."

"S... Sorry," I stuttered. "It's my first time... But I could try again!" I offered with false optimism. I really doubted it could get any better. It seemed that having watched hundreds of blowjobs on the screen didn't teach you anything at all about how to do them.

"No need," he sighed. "I'm already hard. As it is your first time, do you really think you could go all the way?"

"Yes!" I nearly shouted. "I can," I affirmed a bit more calmly. Every time I watched one of his films and wanked I used to finger myself imagining it was Excalibur inside me. This was a dream come true! Of course, I could! "We only need a bit of lube and I'm ready!"

"Ok, you don't need to be so frantic about it," he commented kind of taken aback by my enthusiastic reaction. "But you prepare yourself," he instructed while signalling the upper drawer in the night table. Apparently, that hotel was prepared for every wish its guests could have because I found there some condoms and lube.

I watched Excalibur sideways as he busied himself picking up his jacket and t-shirt from the floor and arranging them on a chair. I started to undress hesitantly as he also took his shoes off. I decided to stop looking when he started to pull down his jeans and pants all the way down. I didn't think I would be able to look at him completely naked without coming right on the spot.

Instead, once naked myself and on the bed, I concentrated on coating my fingers with lube and preparing my entrance slowly, finger by finger. I closed my eyes and focused on the pleasurable feeling of my fingers caressing my insides, opening me. I was fully erect and almost moaning just imagining what was to come.

I felt the bed sank a bit as Excalibur knelt beside me. When I opened my eyes, he was looking at me strangely, as if he was trying to decipher me. "That's enough," he commanded, "or I will lose my erection if I have to wait more. Just open your legs."

I did so and he positioned himself between them. As he lowered himself on top of me, he whispered almost lovingly, "Here, put your hands here." And delicately he lifted my arms to wrap them over his shoulders. "Relax." His voice lulled me into calmness, his face a few centimetres from mine, his body trapping me to the bed... The emotions were so exquisitely intense... It was as if love itself was present in that room. "I'm really big so it might hurt but you'll love it," he informed me.

I was already loving it. The sensation was indescribable. In that moment, I would let him do anything to me. He could ravage my body as much as he wanted, as long as it was him, I didn't care about anything. Just him...

But as soon as I felt the burning pressure of his cock splitting me open, I quickly changed my mind. "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! It hurts! It hurts!" This was not the same as a couple of fingers! It felt as if my insides were being torn!

Excalibur, for his part, moaned in my ear, "Gods, you are so tight!" He seemed in blissful pleasure, or so he was until I tried to push him away. He was too strong for me so it wasn't difficult for him to catch my wrists in his big hands and whisper reassuring words, "Shhh... Relax! It's going to get better in no time!"

At least he stopped pushing into me, but I wasn't paying any attention any more. By then I was in complete panic. I couldn't do this, not even with my adored Excalibur. This wasn't as I thought it would be! Where was the pleasure?! I only could struggle with him and cry, "Excalibur! Stop! It hurts so badly! Stop, Excalibur!"

"Stop struggling!" He shouted as he pushed me harder onto the bed. And that finally brought me back from my frenzied state and made me look at him. He was staring at my face intently when he said, "And stop calling me Excalibur. If you're going to scream a name, let it be mine. I'm Arthur."

My eyes bulged at that name. Arthur? "Is that your real name?" I had to ask, the pain practically forgotten after such a revelation.

"Well," he answered as he leaned down even closer to my face, his smirk back in full force, "it's the only name I have. Is this 'Excalibur' the porn star you were talking about when we met? Do I really look like him that much? I would like to see him."

It took my brain a couple of seconds to process that information. What was he saying? "Who... Who are you?" I finally asked. "Aren't you Excalibur?"

In my shock I didn't notice him move away, enough to reposition my legs on his shoulders. I gasped loudly when he leaned down again, finally seating his cock all the way inside me. However, the discomfort didn't prevent me from understanding high and clearly his affirmation, "No, idiot."

A few moments of uncertainty followed when my panic attack returned. I trashed and shouted things like, "Let go of me! Let go of me!" To which he answered, "It was your fault! And we have gone too far to stop now!" To which I begged, "Please spare my life!" To which he answered affronted, "I'm not gonna kill you! And you should know none of my bed partners has complained before!"

I prefer not to remember much of what happened after that, although, truth be told, I don't remember that much. I'm not sure if it was a nightmare or the dream come true I first thought it was, but one thing I know is that it was extremely confusing. The pain intermingled with a dull pleasurable feeling as he burrowed more and more inside me and soon I was rendered unable to speak any more. I could only writhe uncontrollably, trapped under his ramming motions.

I lost count of how many times he fucked me as the ache increased due to all the rubbing and stroking. I must have even lost consciousness a couple of times. But Excalibur, that is, Arthur was always there to wake me up with another heated round of sex.

One of my last fuzzy memories of the night involved Arthur caressing my face and whispering, "I could have never imagined doing it with a guy feels so pretty good. Count on me the next time you want sex, you perverted virgin boy." And then I passed out.

-~oOo0oOo~-

Next day I looked like shit. Gaius, as observant as he was, noticed my crappy appearance as soon as I reported to his office and bombarded me question after question, "What's wrong with you?" and "Why do you look so terrible?" and "Are you sure you are okay?"

Gaius had always cared a great deal for me and it hurt me lying to him but I couldn't very well tell him I had spent the previous night being ravished by a stranger in a hotel room. He would probably overreact to unforeseen limits and I definitely could do without Gaius's reproaching _"How stupid can you be, my boy!"_

So I escaped as soon as I could and went to one of the big bookcases packed with lots of folders full of boring accounts that littered the walls of the main office. As I leaned down to take some of the lower folders I felt a sharp pain on my back. Gods, it felt as if a truck had run me over. And the worst was yet to come – a long day of sitting down on an uncomfortable chair awaited me... I really should have taken the day off but I didn't want to stay home only to obsess non-stop over the previous night.

However, it wasn't so easy. As I straightened myself, my arms full of folders, my thoughts kept returning to that exact topic. As much extraordinary as the event had been, I couldn't help but feeling a bit cheated. I wanted Excalibur and instead I ended up falling into the grasp of that strange man. At least, I was able to escape without a trace in the morning. Fortunately, when I woke up it was quite early and the man, that is, Arthur, was having a shower – or so I deduced by the noises coming from the bathroom – which helped me to leave the room unnoticed.

The only consolation I could get from such a strange circumstance was that, even if it had been a great mistake, now I had those incredible memories. For one night, I had been able to feel how it was to have someone touch you, make love to you. I smiled. Not even in my wildest dreams could I have thought I would have such an attractive man all for myself. It would be a fond memory for my lonely life, despite the deception and the pain. And anyway, I would never see that Arthur person again.

I was so lost in my thoughts that when two bitches of the office shoved past me, I dropped all the folders in my arms. "Is it true?" "They say he's already here!" They continued gossiping without sparing a single glance for me and the mess of papers and folders they had helped me do on the floor. "He's so handsome!" I heard them say as they moved away. "He doesn't look like Mr Pendragon at all. It seems he's more like his mother. A true beauty, apparently," they laughed.

I sighed and knelt on the floor to pick up everything. I was used to being ignored in the office, their behaviour towards me was nothing new. From my peripheral vision I noticed people were concentrating near me. I could see a couple of long legs clad in what seemed to be a perfect tailored suit. As I followed that well-proportioned body up with my eyes, my heart missed a beat.

Once more, standing in front of me but this time surrounded by my co-workers and Gaius right by his side, was none other than Excalibur. Well, not Excalibur! It was Arthur! He looked down at me with his annoying smirk and an air of superiority. Oh my god! Why was he here?

"Everyone, listen up!" Gaius voice announced right then. "This is Arthur Pendragon. I suppose everyone already knows he's Uther Pendragon's son. However, he will be working in our department for a few months. Please, treat him well."

In a matter of seconds a horde of women and even some men engulfed the newly-come and all that could be heard was, "Nice to meet you!" "Welcome to our department!" "I'm looking forward to working with you!" and then "How old are you?" "Do you have a girlfriend?" "Would you like to have something to drink with us after work?"

I, for my part, stayed rooted to the floor, in the same kneeling position I was when I discovered the man with whom I had just spent the night was the son of one of the most rich and powerful people in the country. And not only that, for the next months I would have to see him every single day at work. There was no escape!

"Merlin!" Gaius shouted at me over the racket of introductions, invitations and flirting. "What the hell are you doing on the floor like an idiot! Come here and introduce yourself to Arthur!"

I barely was able to stand up with the weight of all the folders on my arms. I left them on a near table, feeling the burning of Gaius intense gaze and raised eyebrow on my back. "You know you're the best accountant," he commented quietly while everyone else was distracted. "This is a great chance for you! He's the son of the owner. Show him what you're worth, my boy!"

Gaius had always had great plans for me. According to him, I would end being a great businessman one day. I didn't share his opinion but I let him push me lightly through the people to Arthur. "Arthur, this is Merlin," he introduced me. "He's the best accountant around here and I'm sure he's more than pleased to help you with anything you could need."

I was so embarrassed that I could barely lift my eyes higher than that knowing smirk, but it seemed that was not good enough for Gaius since he tried to encourage me to be more open with a small shove on my back. I got the message and extended my arm to Arthur. "Nice to meet you," I said in a trembling voice.

Arthur shook my hand firmly and answered accordingly, "Nice to meet you too, _Mer_ lin." The inflection he put in my name made me shiver.

"Ok, then!" Gaius shouted again, "Everyone go back to work!"

People complained under their breaths but they went back to their desks and their work. I, however, couldn't since Arthur still had my hand in his. As I tried to extract it, Arthur squeezed it tighter and pulled me slightly towards him. "I didn't think I would see you again, and here, of all places," he whispered almost seductively in my ear. "But, of course, I didn't think either you would dare to run away."

His voice became so harsh that made me try to escape from his grip without any success. "You'll have to make it up to me." He continued smiling, his breath ghosting over mine, his eyes watching me as a hunter would his prey. "You better be ready for me."

And he went away, leaving me there alone in the middle of the office. Dear God, what had I got myself into?

-~oOo0oOo~-

Thanks for reading!


	3. Chapter 2

**Title:** A superstar that belongs only to me

 **Pairings:** Arthur/Merlin

 **Rating:** M

 **Warnings:** yaoi (that is, the relationship between the characters is that of a _seme_ and his _uke_ ), sexual content, dub-con or non-con, mentions of porn, bullying, harassing and homophobia.

 **Disclaimer:** I own nothing of these. All credits go to BBC Merlin and the mangaka Nanami who created the great manga called 'Porno Superstar'. I fear I'm not as talented as these people :_(

 **Summary:** modern AU. MerlinPOV. It was a normal day. I was going back home after work when I saw him. A god among humans, my idol, Excalibur. That was my chance, my dream come true. Too bad it turned into a nightmare. Merlin/Arthur

 **Word count for this chapter:** around 4,200

 **AN:** Thanks for reading, following, favouriting and reviewing this fic! Here you have the next chapter! Enjoy it!

-~oOo0oOo~-

 **Chapter 2**

Not two hours after Arthur Pendragon had appeared in my office, I found myself alone with him in a deserted toilet, his scowling face a few centimeters from mine, his angry glare pinning me to the wall on my back as his arms surrounded me on each side, preventing me from escaping once more.

"I only agreed to take you because you begged for it desperately and what did I get for my troubles? You dared to run away from me!" He said furiously. "You snubbed me! You will pay dearly for that! You deserve a severe punishment!" Was he threatening me? "As payback, I will be disciplining you every day from here on out." Yes, he was threatening me... "Listen carefully: If you dare disobey me, I'll tell everyone in this company that you are a perverted homosexual who hits on strangers in the street." Or more precisely he was blackmailing me. His silence in exchange for... becoming his sexual toy.

-~oOo0oOo~-

And he made good on his threat. Two weeks later and not only a working day had passed without me 'servicing' him. Sometimes in the toilets, other times in any of the storage rooms where the company kept the older reports that were hardly ever used any more. Arthur always found the right place and moment so that we were never disturbed. He took advantage of working closely with me (it was Gaius' idea that he sat at the desk next to mine and that I helped him) to make any excuse about this or that so that we could dissapear together for at least some minutes.

Our co-workers never seemed to see anything amiss and sometimes not even I was aware of what was about to come until it was too late. That day, Arthur stood nonchalantly and approched me to say aloud, "Merlin, in this report there are several accounts missing. We should check the original documents."

For some minutes, I looked for those documents. We had been working with them so they had to be there, somewhere. But then, he commented, "I think they had already been stored away. Weren't those the documents you told me this morning to take to the storage room on the third floor?" He smiled condescendingly at me. "I'll go get them." But before he went away he leaned down surreptitiously and whispered in my ear. "Come over in 5 minutes."

I only sighed and waited. What else could I do? After all, it was my fault. I was the one to blame. I was the one stupid enough to want to fulfill a dream beyond my capabilities and end losing all kind of proper thought. I offered my body to this guy, thinking he was my idol and instead I got this strange guy that made me his plaything. It should have been the best day of my life with my adored Excalibur and now it was an endless nightmare. But when in all my life had I been lucky? The answer was so simple: never.

So I did the only thing I could do. I waited five minutes and went to the storage room on the third floor. I knelt in front of Arthur and unzipped his trousers. And as every day for the last two weeks I gave him a blowjob. Well, I tried to. I did my best at licking and sucking but apparently my skills hadn't got any better with practice since Arthur kept complaining all the time.

"Do it properly or I won't be able to finish." He grabbed my hair and forced me to take more of his lenght into my mouth.

"Sorry," I tried to answer with a slurp but I doubted he understood me and he continued with his mean comments.

"How hopeless can you be? A homo who can't even suck cock properly. You should have improved a bit by now!"

I released his shaft and looked up at him. "Sorry," I apologized properly this time. I really was hopeless and the worst was that I couldn't bear him saying those cruel words with that face, with my beloved Excalibur's face. I looked at his hard cock instead and licked my lips as I breathed deeply before going back to the task at hand. I didn't want him to see my hurt expression.

He, however, surprised me when he caressed my face almost tenderly and raised my chin to look at him again. "It's okay." He almost seemed understanding, until he said, "More practice will make you better." And so I continued practicing. I sucked until my jaw ached and my throat burned. I sucked until I had his come on my face and he finally smiled at me approvingly.

As always, he rearranged his clothes properly and went out first not to draw suspicions. I, for my part, waited for a couple of minutes while wiping my face with a handkerchief and calming my erratic breathing. Before going back to my desk, I stopped a few minutes more in the toilet to wash my hands and face and check I really was calmed enough to face Arthur and a whole office full of people again.

It always shook me to the core doing that kind of pervy things in the office with Arthur but he seemed completely unaffected. When I was composed enough and went back to my desk, he was there sitting happily on the desk and laughing animatedly with a couple of the office harpies and apparently talking about some delicious typical buscuits one of them had prepared. He had the nerve to offer me some with a charming smile, as if nothing had just happened.

Of course, I rejected them and bore with it as well as possible. _'Stupid two-faced prat!'_

-~oOo0oOo~-

That same night I decided to take a relaxing bath and try to forget all about Arthur and his threats. As I got soaked in the bathtub filled up with warm water and scented soap, I couldn't avoid thinking that, despite of the fact that Arthur treated me as his wanking toy, it could be worse. In fact, it had been worse before.

A shiver run down my spine as I remembered him. Cendred. I met him at high school. He was so handsome and we were kind of friends. He always asked me for help with his homework and he helped me with sports instead. We even sometimes hanged out together. Until he discovered I had a huge crush on him, what meant I was gay. He said I was disgusting. He beat me to a pulp in front of everyone. And everyone turned their backs on me. I was bullied non-stop until the graduation.

I put up with it the best I could not to worry my mum and my uncle Gaius but I never allowed myself to get close to anyone. At least, I didn't until Arthur came along. All those years isolating myself, keeping apart from everyone else so that they couldn't see the real me and one stupid mistake had made me fall prey of Arthur.

When he first threatened me, I was so afraid. I didn't know what he would do to me. Thankfully, he seemed to be satisfied with mere blowjobs because I didn't know if I would be able to do it again. That fateful night it had hurt so much that I had trouble walking for days after. I had heard before that sex could be painful the first time, but I had never imagined it would feel like that. I was even scared to touch it later.

Now, however... I probed my hole carefully with a finger. It didn't hurt anymore. It seemed as if nothing had happened at all, as if it had been my imagination and Arthur's cock had never been inside me.

As I inserted my finger deeper I trembled. That night there had also been a spark of pleasure under all the pain. Could it be that as Arthur had said it could feel good? I had never used more than two fingers before and Arthur's cock was so much bigger... Perhaps it hurt because of that. Because my body wasn't really prepared. Should I try adding more fingers?

I moved three fingers inside me, in and out. And yet they felt so short and not wide enough. For a moment, I was of a mind of looking for something... something as a cucumber or a banana. But they wouldn't compare to Arthur's cock, to its size and texture...What the hell was I thinking?!

I discarded such stupid ideas as I got out of the bath and dried myself off with a towel. I should stick to the usual. My head had been so full of Arthur and his stupid game that I hadn't watched my precious Excalibur's videos for some time. That was what I was going to do. Forget about everything else and watch my favourite Excalibur's film: _'The Knights of Camelot'_. I would never get tired of that film!

Soon I was sprawled on my bed, playing with my cock and my hole again as on the screen of my laptop Excalibur talked dirty to another lucky actor. When they finished with the blowjobs and Excalibur started thrusting vigorously into the other man, moaning more obscenities, I increased my stroking motion and whimpered Excalibur's name. As always, I wished Excalibur could be there.

But it didn't feel the same. Maybe it was because it had been so long since I had done this but it wasn't about Excalibur anymore. What I wanted... What I needed was something bigger and thicker. Big and thick enough to fill me up inside completely. Something so hot that it would burn me inside out. Someone to hold me down and ram into me, leaving me no escape...

"Aaaahhhh!" I spattered my seed with a shudder. My eyes closed tight. I hadn't been watching the film when I came. I had been thinking about Arthur, about how he had pinned me to that bed with his thrusts. I had orgasmed to the memory of that night, to the memory of being Arthur's.

What was happening to me?!

-~oOo0oOo~-

"Hey!" Arthur's exclamation brought me back from my thoughts. "Why have you been staring into the space all this time?"

"Ah... Sorry," I startled. We were in the office and it wouldn't do for me to space out like that in front of Arthur. "It's just I didn't get much sleep last night..." I answered noncommitally. The last thing I needed was for him to know I had spent the previous night worrying about having wanked to my memories of our time together.

He pfffted and went back to his work. I tried to do the same but I needed a file for my report so I went to look for it to the storage room where I thought it was. I searched for it among the different folders absentmindedly, my head still engaged on my worries.

Suddenly, I noticed a presence, or more like a chest pressed to my back. "Is this what you are looking for?" An arm surrounded me an extracted a folder. I jumped out of my skin with the fright. I hadn't noticed him entering the room.

"Yes, thanks," I mumbled as Arthur, completely unaware of my reaction, scanned another shelf and took out another folder, which he had probably come to look for.

"What would you do without me?" he commented with a broad smirk before leaving me alone in the room. For a moment, I had thought he was going to do something to me again...

I sighed and went back to work.

"Arthur, today is already Friday... if you don't have plans... Would you like to come drinking with us later?" I heard they were asking Arthur when I arrived at my desk. It was two of the worst harpies in the office: Vivian and Sophia, the ones that always flitted around Arthur trying to flirt with him.

I sat down at my desk and said nothing as some of the other male co-workers complained for not being invited too. Well, they could be harpies, but they were beautiful harpies.

"Married men aren't allowed!" They laughed at them. Of course, they wanted Arthur all for themselves.

Arthur, however, thwarted their plans in the worst way possible. "Then, there is no problem if Merlin comes, right? He's also still single!"

"No, I..!" I tried to protest immediately.

"We'll go together, Merlin!" Arthur decided. "It's ok, isn't it?" He asked politely but his glare seemed to say, _'You better come along obediently or else!'_

I couldn't refuse and a few hours later I found myself in a flashy club, sitting down at a large table next to Arthur, Sophia and Vivian in front of us. I had never been good at handling those kind of situations so I let them do all the talking and concentrated on congratulating myself for not having had to 'service' Arthur that day and wishing I could be home.

Meanwhile, they talked and laughed and flirted and ignored me completely. Well, at least the girls ignored me, thankfully. They were too busy asking Arthur about his love life.

"So, do you have a girlfriend right now, Arthur?" Sophia asked with oubvious interest.

"No, not right now," Arthur answered unconcernedly.

"Oh, that's not possible! How could that be?!" and "No way you are single" and "There must be tons of girls chasing after you, you're so handsome!" They answered feignedly.

Arthur, however, didn't seem so interested in their topic of conversation. He only smiled perfunctorily and turned to me. "Merlin, are you alright?" he asked. "You should chat with us too!"

"No..." I replied alarmed. "Don't bother with me. I'm happier just listening... I..." Why couldn't Arthur ignore me too?!

"Don't worry," Sophia interceded sweetly. "Merlin has always been just like that. He hardly ever comes out to drink with us and if he rarely does, he only drinks a juice and then slips away without us noticing." They laughed but Arthur frowned. They had made me look like more of a loser than I was.

"I'm sorry," I made a weak attempt to amend it. "It's only that I don't know how to drink..."

"Have a cocktail, then," Arthur suggested happily. "I'll order one with little alcohol for you."

"No, it's ok! You don't have to," I tried to stop him but to no avail. Soon I found myself with a colourful drink in my hands.

"How is it?" He asked almost anxiously. And truth be told, it was quite good... I sipped at it contentedly as he ranted about other cocktails with different juices that also tasted good and insisted on me trying some more.

I was about to refuse when the girls intervened again in the conversation. They must have felt a bit neglected by Arthur and his attentions to me. But they soon were back at it again in full force and diverted the topic of conversation to their previous interests.

"So, what type do you like?" Vivian flirted.

It was my turn to ignore them as I tasted my cocktail. I didn't know they were so delicious and sweet!

"If I had to choose a type, I would say I like the hamster type."

"Hamster!" I heard them exclaim.

"Little and cute. I like that type. The type that makes me want to bully them..."

"Oh, you're so naugthy!"

By then I was too far away to process what Arthur was saying or to notice his sly glances at me. I was only thinking that I would like to try some more cocktails and see if what he had told me about them was true. I must have made my wishes known at some point because I remember vaguely different sweet tastes and several cocktail glasses on the table.

More hazy were my memories of the street. Everything seemed to be moving, the people, the cars, as if they were spinning. I could barely stand all by myself. Thankfully, I could lean against a broad chest and a warm arm supported me. It must have been Arthur because it felt so calm and comfortable... It was like walking on clouds...

"Let's go to the next bar!" A shrieking female voice made me cringe. My head was starting to pound with so much noise.

A male voice spoke lower. "Sorry, but it seems Merlin has had a bit too much to drink. I'm taking him home."

The loud and high-pitched voices returned again with complaints but the male voice silenced them. "He's too drunk to take a taxi and I feel responsible for that. I'm taking him home myself."

The voices stopped then. The next thing in my mind was a beautiful big castle. Where was I? This wasn't home. The male voice had said he would take me home. But this place... It was Camelot, as in Excalibur's film. Where was Excalibur? Oh, there he was... So handsome... "Excalibur..." I smiled up at him.

The sunshine came in through an open window. I was lying comfortably on a soft bed. I could feel the soft sheets against my skin as Excalibur stood by the bed, looking down at me worriedly. "Excalibur," I said this time louder.

"Are you still asleep or something?'" Excalibur answered furiously. He seemed really pissed off. "Why are you calling me Excalibur?! I've already told you not to call me by that name?!"

At that I sat up with a start. "Arthur!" Now I recognised him. This was not Excalibur, it was Arthur. As I looked around I also realised this wasn't Camelot but a hotel room. And why was I in bed completely naked?

Before I could ask anything, Arthur continued with his ranting. "And don't ever drink alcohol again! Never! You were so drunk that you were singing and dancing in the streets! You even threw up all over you!"

"That's not true!" I squealed as I covered myself with the sheets. I didn't remember any of that!

"I took some pictures with my mobile. Want to see them?" He teased.

"No!" I cried. I really didn't want to see that. I prefered not to remember anything.

"I don't know where you live and you were in no condition to tell me so I had to bring you to this hotel to clean you up," he went back to his angered tone.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled as I endured his lecture with my head bowed low as a child who had misbehaved.

"You really have some nerve," he continued, ignoring my apology. "You were supposed to be my sex toy and yet you made me have to clean after you."

"I'm sorry," I mumbled again

"And stop apologizing! It's pissing me off even more!"

"I'm s..." I stopped myself before I finished the sentence and bit my lower lip. I couldn't believe yet I had got so drunk to the point of throwing up and even not remembering anything later. I should be grateful to Arthur. He was right. If he hadn't looked after me, I didn't know what could have happened to me in that state.

"Now, take care of it," Arthur said authoritatively.

I raised my head to look at him confusedly. Take care of what? But I noticed before he pointed at his groin and said, "Look. I'm so mad at you that I'm hard." His impressive hard on was really impossible to miss.

I gulped down. "Ok." It was a small price for what he had done for me. I was willing to pay.

I let the sheets fall down form my body as I crawled to the end of the bed and knelt on it in front of him. As my trembling hands made for the zip of his trousers he swatted them away.

"You, idiot!" He complained. "Not like that! However eager you're about it, your skills are ridicously bad!"

I comprehended it instantly. Finally, the moment I had so much feared had arrived. "You mean... You want... the backside?"

I recoiled farther into the bed. "Wait a minute," I uttered in order to gain time and think of something. "I haven't mentally prepared myself," I said truthfully.

But he didn't listen to me. He took me by my left arm and turned me around. He pinned my head to the mattress with his strong grip on my hair, as his other hand forced my hips to raise and expose my arse to his ministrations. I tried to protest again when I felt a couple of wet fingers enter me. Where the hell had he got the lube to prepare me?

"Stop procrastinating!" He admonished as he scirssored his fingers inside of me to open me up. It hurt but not as much as that night. "It's not like it's your first time!" Arthur reminded me. He was right. Perhaps this time it wouldn't hurt so much...

And then, for an instant I thought he was going to leave it at that when he removed his fingers but I heard the sounds of tearing plastic as an advance of what was to come. He put the condom in mere seconds and soon I felt the pressure of Arthur's cock in my entrance. He pushed in with a long thrust.

"Ah! It hurts! It really hurts!" I complained immediately. "Arthur!" I cried as he pulled out and drove back in painstakingly slowly. "Ah!" I cried again. I could feel him so deep... Filling me completely...

As he picked up a forcefully quick rhythm, I could only lay at his mercy, whimpering each time he rammed into me. It felt... It felt...

"You see, it feels so much better like this!" He panted in my ear with some effort. "I should have done this a long time ago."

He was right. It felt so good... I moaned and shuddered in pleasure for the first time. I couldn't explain how it had happened, how the pain had become this... but I was so turned on. I reached for my fully erect cock to tug at it.

Arthur, of course, noticed. "What's this? My fucking you feels so good that you're turned on, huh? You really are gay, aren't you?" he gloated.

I closed my eyes tight in shame and tried not to listen to him as I continued my wanking, synchronizing it with his thrusts. At least I would get my pleasure from this strange situation. But Arthur didn't let me. He grabbed both my hands and hold them against the mattress at each side of my head, completely preventing me from touching my hard on.

"Don't touch your cock," he commanded. "Use only your backside to orgasm..."

"That... That's impossible!" I disagreed. Did he have to always ruin every small pleasure I could get?

Then, Arthur surprised me by lifting himself from above me and simply sitting on the edge of the bed. I turned around to look at him and bewildered by his reaction, I asked tentatively, "Arthur? What is it?"

"Nothing," he answered indifferently with a shrug. "I just don't feel like doing it anymore."

My mouth almost dropped in shock. What was he saying? What a liar?! He was still fully erect!

"If you want to do it," he suggested then. "Use your own hips to do it for me."

I gasped. What was he asking me to do?

"Let me see your cute side," he smirked at me.

My heart raced in my chest at such an indecent proposal. I hadn't asked for this. I didn't want this. I was threatened and forced into this situation by this demented guy... That's it, I was being helplessly forced... I really didn't...

I swallowed dubiously. Who was I trying to fool? I wanted this. That's why I had feared it so much, why I couldn't even wank without thinking of Arthur inside me... I wanted this so much... I had finally admitted it to myself. Why deny it anymore? It was time to give up my inhibitions and fears.

There would be time later to feel ashamed of what I did. Ashamed of how I crawled to Arthur shyly. How I grabbed his wrist and pulled gently until he took the hint and sat on the bed comfortably, leaning against the headboard. How I downed myself on his shaft, and yes, I fucked myself into oblivion.

But at the time, I let go completely. I surrendered to the sensations I had always longed to feel. I let myself get trapped in Arthur's game.

-~oOo0oOo~-

Thanks for reading!


	4. Chapter 3

**Title:** A superstar that belongs only to me

 **Pairings:** Arthur/Merlin

 **Rating:** M

 **Warnings:** yaoi (that is, the relationship between the characters is that of a _seme_ and his _uke_ ), sexual content, dub-con or non-con, mentions of porn, bullying, harassing and homophobia.

 **Disclaimer:** I own nothing of these. All credits go to BBC Merlin and the mangaka Nanami who created the great manga called 'Porno Superstar'. I fear I'm not as talented as these people :_(

 **Summary:** modern AU. MerlinPOV. It was a normal day. I was going back home after work when I saw him. A god among humans, my idol, Excalibur. That was my chance, my dream come true. Too bad it turned into a nightmare. Merlin/Arthur

 **Word count for this chapter:** around 3,100

 **AN:** As always, thanks for reading, following or favouriting this fic. And a special thanks to b92morgan for reviewing! There will be a bit of a jealous Arthur in the next and last chapter. Meanwhile, enjoy this one!

-~oOo0oOo~-

 **Chapter 3**

"Merlin, let's go eat lunch!" Arthur suggested out loud. We were in the office and it was around 1am. It was time for the lunch break and, in fact, some of our co-workers were already gone.

"Are you going to eat together today too?" Edwin, another employee, asked us surprised.

"Yeah," Arthur answered a bit annoyed. "There's something I want to discuss with Merlin." And he pulled me to my feet before Edwin could say anything else. "Let's go, Merlin."

"Ah! Yes!" I followed him without looking back at Edwin's questioning stare.

There was nothing strange in two people working so closely all day to eat together. The only strange thing in the situation was that one of them was me. In the office, everybody thought of me as a social inept. That was why it caused quite some confused glances (and even some glares, in case of the harpies) each time Arthur bothered to have lunch with me, and more when that seemed to be an everyday occurrence.

What no-one knew, thankfully, was that once we disappeared out that door, we never went to eat lunch. We took advantage of that precious time to have a quick one wherever we could. And that day was no different.

Soon I found myself in another storage room, in one of the most secluded parts of the building, my trousers and pants below my knees, as I held for dear life to a shelf while Arthur pounded into me from behind.

"No... Stop... Arthur..." I moaned incoherently. "I'm already..."

"Already what?" Arthur panted on my neck. "Should I stop already?"

"No... That's not what I meant..." I said turning around to look at him.

"You're such a tease, _Mer_ lin." He had a contented smirk on his face. "I can feel you sucking me in so tightly..." he commented before leaning down to whisper lustfully in my ear, "You feel damn good down there, don't you? Be honest, Merlin. You're enjoying it, right?"

"Nnnggg..." I whimpered as I tried to reach for my cock. It turned me on even more when he talked like that.

That, however, didn't seem to please Arthur as he grabbed both my hands and held them forcefully to the shelf as he threatened, "Answer me, Merlin, or I won't let you come. Would you like that?"

"No... Don't!" I gave in inmediately. I really wasn't strong enough to fight him any more. "It feels so good... Arthur... so good..."

-~oOo0oOo~-

I was so hungry... I was in Gaius office to show him a report that needed his approval but I couldn't concentrate. My mind was divided between the hunger for not having eaten lunch and the memories of the pervy things Arthur and I had been up to when we should have been eating. Well, that and worrying about all the noise we (or more precisely I) had made. Could someone have heard us?

"Where is my silver pen?" I heard Gaius asking. " I can't lose it. It's the one Alice gave me as a present for our anniversary..."

Oh, god! A flash came to my mind of the previous night. Everybody in our department had gone home. Arthur and I had been the only ones left in the office and... And Arthur had suddenly grabbed me, led me to Gaius's office and pushed me down on the desk. I was ashamed to admit that I hadn't stopped him. We had done it right there. Arthur had been pretty excited about it and I...

"Oh! Here it is! How did it fall down here?" Gaius said as he straightened from under the desk.

It must have fallen down while Arthur was ramming into me. I could remember how the desk had moved under my weight and...

"Merlin?" Gaius asked. "Merlin?"

"Yes?!" I came from my reverie.

Gaius was showing me back the documents I had just handed him. "You left out this whole section," he told me with an impossibly high eyebrow. It was something he did a lot when worried. "It's something wrong, Merlin? You've been making a lot of mistakes lately."

"I'm sorry, Gaius. It's just I haven't been sleeping well these last few days," I lied as best as I could. "But I'll go fix this right away."

In my eagerness to leave as soon as possible before Gaius had time to question me more about my strange behaviour, I took the documents and fled out his office door like a bat out of hell, with the bad luck that I stumbled against a chair and fell down scattering all the papers in my hands.

It hurt a bit but nothing as looking up and seeing all my co-workers looking down at me and smiling condescendingly. Things couldn't get worse until...

"Merlin, are you all right?" Arthur had knelt by my side and was patting my back reassuringly.

I blushed immediately. What was he doing in front of everyone?

I stood up quickly and escaped once more without looking back and, this time also without bumping into anything.

Behind me I could hear a worried Arthur, "What's with him?" But the harpies soon informed him, "Who knows. He has always been a bit odd."

Anyway, not even I could understand what was going on with me. As I holed myself up in a toilet, I tried to ponder on it. Was there something wrong with my brain? I was thinking about pervy stuff all day long. It wasn't normal but I couldn't stop myself from reminiscing every detail of my encounters with Arthur in the most inappropiate places. I couldn't stop myself from wishing for it to happen again. I had never been so obsessed over sex and it was starting to scare me.

It was all that prat's fault. Arthur. He and his stupid game had transformed me into a kind of sex addict...

"Open the door, Merlin," Arthur suddenly announced himself from outside the toilet.

"I... I don't want to." I wasn't ready to face him again in my shaken state.

"If you don't, I'll break it down," he threatened calmly.

I opened the door. "Arthur, I..."

I didn't have time to finish my mumbles. Arthur took me by my waist and moved me away so that he could come into the small toilet and closed the door behind him.

Having him so near again and in such a place, I panicked. "You want to do it again?! We have already done it today!"

"Stop being so noisy!" He glared me into silence. "I won't do anything right now."

I relaxed a bit, but not that much considering that he sat on the toilet seat and then sat me on his knees, his supportive hand on my back.

"And what has just happened? You ran away as soon as you saw me!"

"Uhh... That... Mmm..." I didn't know what to answer to that.

"Did you get hurt when you fell?" He asked with what seemed true concern.

"Mmmm... No, I'm fine." I forced me to answer.

He didn't listen to me, though, since he proceeded to examine my face and body meticulously by groping me gently. Why would he do that?

"Well," he conceded, "you seem to be fine."

However, his intense stare was still fixed on me making me extremely uncomfortable. I twitched a bit, not knowing well what to do with myself. His presence surrounded me – his chest to my side, his thighs under mine, his hand brushing my back, his smell on my nostrils, his breath almost on my cheek. I started to sweat by imagining what could happen...

"Stop being so scared of me all the time, would you?!" He said angrily. "It really pisses me off. It's not like I'm going to eat you."

I started a bit. I didn't expect him to say that. "S... Sorry," I apologized sincerely. I couldn't help feeling restless in his presence after all that had happened between us.

Then, he did another unexpected question, "You... Do you fear me?"

Fear? Was it fear? Truth be told, I always got very nervous when he was near me. Sometimes, it even became hard to breath...

"Yes," I whispered out loud without thinking.

"What have you just said?" He asked once more furious.

"Ah... What I was trying to say..." I immediately tried to correct my slip. He could sometimes get so mad so quickly that it was as if I could step on a land mine at any moment.

"Forget it," he sighed before my slow mind had time to make up an explanation for what I had just said. "And take this." He took an energy bar out of his pocket and offered it to me.

I took it unconsciously. "What's this?"

"You should know just by looking," he teased. " It's for you to eat. You haven't had lunch yet." And there was that penetrating look again directed at me. "Seriously, you idiot, why are you so..." He stopped himself abruptly and made me stand with him. "Forget it. It's nothing." He opened the door and went away leaving me alone in the toilet, an energy bar in my hand.

I was so... So what? What was that?

-~oOo0oOo~-

Finally, I was at home. I was trying to relax in front of my laptop as I scrolled absentmindedly through some webpages and forums about my adored Excalibur. However, I couldn't stop thinking about Arthur. I didn't understand him at all. I wasn't able to figure out what he was thinking. Why did he suddenly get angry and then he dismissed it as unimportant?

Ah! I jumped as my brain got up with what my eyes had just seen. The deadline to order Excalibur's special edition video. It had expired! I had completely forgotten! Fuck! I would have to wait for a re-edition or something and order it then.

I sighed in resignation. Now that I thought about Excalibur... When was the last time I wanked while watching one of his films? I had been so busy lately doing the real thing with Arthur that what once had been so important to me had been practically pushed into the background. Now, nothing but Arthur seemed to engage my attention.

 _'Seriously, you idiot, why are you so...'_ Those had been his exact words. What did he mean by that?

I hadn't dared to ask him in that moment but I was really curious. And not only by his words. It intrigued me how a straight guy like him could have decided to have a guy like me as his sex toy. How a straight guy could do it so many times with another guy?

I had no answer for such a puzzling question but I had a crazy idea. How about asking someone who did know about such matters? I entered into a love consulting webpage and wrote my question:

 _'There is a straight guy who has sex with me every signle day. Is it possible that that guy...'_

I deleted it and wrote instead:

 _'A guy has sex with me every single day. Is it possible that he likes me?'_

I not only deleted it but also closed the webpage. There was no way that was the answer. What was I thinking? That was nonsense and I dismissed it as that. I went back to my adored Excalibur webpages and concentrated on looking at all the new information about my idol there.

Yet... We had been doing such pervy things for such a long time. It was to be expected that he would tire of his toy eventually. But it didn't look like he was sick of me at all. In fact, he had been forcing me to do it more and more frequently. And lately, he even was more gentle than the first times.

Did that mean...? Did he actually like me? No. Impossible.

-~oOo0oOo~-

How could such a handsome guy fall for someone like me...?

The next morning, in the office I was still thinking about the same puzzling question while looking at Arthur out of the corner of my eye. And I had yet to find an answer. Well, the best I could come up with was the well-known saying _'To each his own'._

Maybe I was to his taste but it was hard to say since he never spoke about feelings. Could it be that he was as shy as me and so he hadn't said anything? Should I just ask him directly? No. If I were wrong, the outcome could be really scary. I trembled slighly just imagining what he would do to me... But what if I were right...

"What is it, Merlin?" Arthur's voice jolted me out of my musings.

"Nothing!" I answered quickly. I was overthinking everything too much and being near Arthur wasn't helping. "I'm going to the toilet." I announced out loud before going out.

What was happening to me? Perhaps some fresh air would do me some good. I went directly to the office rooftop. I really needed to pull myself together and stop my wishful thinking. It was starting to affect my job, something I had always been good at. I was unable to concentrate properly. I was even making stupid mistakes and Gaius had already noticed.

"Forget about it and just focus on your work!" I muttered to myself.

"What are you mumbling to yourself?" Arthur's voice interrupted me once more.

"Arthur!" I exlaimed turning around to see him just behind me, where he had stopped to rest a hand on my shoulder.

"I had to look for you everywhere!" He whined. "I didn't know the toilet was on the rooftop!"

"Mmmm..." I didn't know what to say to that. How could I explain to him I was only trying to avoid him so that I could think more clearly. It wouldn't do.

"Well, the outdoor scenery is nice too, huh?" He commented mischievously, his hand caressing down my arm as his other hand settled on my waist. He leaned down a bit and whispered alluringly, "Wanna do it? I'll be quick."

Oh, shit! He wanted to do it right there in the open?! That would only encourage my stupid ideas! I had to stop him! Gods, the hand on my waist was already moving dangerously towards the button of my trousers!

"Please, stop!" I shouted as I moved away from him with the bad luck that I elbowed him on his stomach.

Arthur gasped and held the hurt area with both hands immediately. "You, idiot!" He growled at me.

His glare was so fearsome that I could feel my knees about to buckle. "I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to!" I apologized instinctively. "I'm not trying to defy you," I continued ranting in an attempt to stop him definitely. Then a light bulb went off in my head. "It's just that today I'm not feeling very well..."

"And if you didn't want to do it today, why the hell were you giving me those lustful glances?!" Arthur said a bit more recovered but still angry.

Lustful glances? "I didn't!"

"You totally did!"

"You misunderstood!" It weren't lustful glances!

He sighed. It seemed I had convinced him. "Anyway, forget it." And just like that? He wasn't a bit bothered or something? He just leant on the rail and looked at the horizon calmly.

"Mmmm..." I started dubiously. "If you... if you really want to, it's ok. We can do it."

He didn't look back at me. "No need. You said you aren't feeling too well, right?"

Didn't he mind if we didn't do it that day? "I... I can use my mouth?" I offered once more.

"Your skill is terrible." He finally smiled at me.

However, it wasn't the answer I wanted. I didn't know what it was but... If we didn't do anything it felt a bit lonely...

"But if we don't do anything it feels a bit..." Arthur said. The same exact words I had thought. He didn't put a word at how it felt, though. He just grabbed my chin, turned my face towards him and...

He kissed me. On my lips.

I stayed completely still. The feeling of Arthur's soft lips over mine was exquisite. I had to react somehow. As his mouth moved, I tried to move mine too.

"Easy," Arthur exhaled. "Use your nose to breath."

"Arthur," I moaned in return as I let myself go with the kiss. My legs felt so weak I could barely stand. I put my hands on Arthur's back for support but it was him who kept me up with his hold on my waist. My heart, however, was another matter since I thought there was no way I could stop it from bursting out of my ribcage. I simply surrendered to the sensations and squeezed Arthur tighter against me.

"Your skills are really terrible," Arthur suddenly said, his mouth away from mine.

I opened my eyes, which I didn't remember closing, and realised we were on the floor, my back to the rail, Arthur on top of me. How did we get there?

He stood up and looked down at me with a frown. "You're 26 years old and a virgin. Don't tell me this was also your first kiss?"

I brought my legs to my chest and didn't look up at him. I didn't answer either. I felt so stupid. It really was my first kiss.

He seemed to get the hint and didn't pressed the matter. I didn't want to speak about that. Instead, Arthur asked, "Have you eaten something sweet?"

"No," I mumbled stealing a quick glance at him. He was touching his lips with his fingers. What did he think about the kiss? Did he like it? I had never kissed before so I didn't know what to think.

"Is that so?" Arthur commented but he didn't wait for an answer. "We should head back now." And he turned around and went for the door to go inside. I didn't follow inmediately. I was still too flustered. I sighed and touched my lips briefly. My first kiss...

When I stood up, Arthur was observing me. "Wanna do it again before we go back?"

I nodded.

His kisses tasted like a candy I had never savoured before.

-~oOo0oOo~-

Thanks for reading!


	5. Chapter 4

**Title:** A superstar that belongs only to me

 **Pairings:** Arthur/Merlin

 **Rating:** M

 **Warnings:** yaoi (that is, the relationship between the characters is that of a _seme_ and his _uke_ ), sexual content, dub-con or non-con, mentions of porn, bullying, harassing and homophobia.

 **Disclaimer:** I own nothing of these. All credits go to BBC Merlin and the mangaka Nanami who created the great manga called 'Porno Superstar'. I fear I'm not as talented as these people :_(

 **Summary:** modern AU. MerlinPOV. It was a normal day. I was going back home after work when I saw him. A god among humans, my idol, Excalibur. That was my chance, my dream come true. Too bad it turned into a nightmare. Merlin/Arthur

 **Word count for this chapter:** around 5,200

 **AN:** Here is the final chapter! Thanks for reading, following or favouriting! Oh! There are also a couple of short extras for this manga. If you would like me to write them, just let me know! Enjoy the chapter!

-~oOo0oOo~-

 **Chapter 4**

"What do you think?" Vivian asked Sophia. "Yesterday when I went to the hairdresser's I saw another customer getting them done and I decided to give it a try. Do you like them?"

Sophia inspected gravely Vivian's manicure for a few seconds. "Well, they are beautiful but maybe a bit too much..."

"Do you think I should remove it then?" Vivian wondered indecisively.

That conversation could go on for hours... Of course, Vivan's manicure was beautiful. Sophia was just green with envy. And I didn't want to wait an eternity to get my job done.

"Vivian!" I interrupted. "The development team asked me to give you these documents." She looked a bit affrrontedly at me, undoubtely for daring to disturb their interesting conversation. "Oh! And I think that removing it would be a shame because they look very pretty on you. It matches what you are wearing today!"

"Is that so?" Vivan gawped.

I only smiled at her and went away. They weren't as subtle as to not to comment on my new changed behaviour out loud: "Hasn't Merlin changed lately?" "Yes! This morning he even greeted everyone!" "Did he hit the lotto or something!" "No idea, but he's better like this than always moping around, don't you think?" "Yes, but I'm still curious. What has happened to him?!"

I didn't listen more to their comments as I picked up my packed lunch and directed my steps to the lift. I was going to the rooftop. Arthur had asked me to meet him there to have lunch together. And, anyway, that was nothing I hadn't heard before. Since Arthur had kissed me some days ago, I felt happier, as in a dream, and I couldn't avoid showing it, even at work. Some other co-workers had already noticed it but I couldn't care less. The only thing in my mind were Arthur's kisses...

-~oOo0oOo~-

Arthur had actually kissed me...

"Why do you keep staring at me?" Arthur asked.

"Eh?" I said intellingently. We were supposed to be eating and I had spent more time staring at him with awe instead. I blushed and looked at my food.

"Hurry up and eat!" Arthur admonished.

"I'm already full," I answered. There were only some scraps left and I wasn't hungry any more. My stomach was in knots lately.

Nonetheless, Arthur checked, "Sure you don't want more?"

"Yeah, I'm too full," I confirmed.

"Then, come over here," he commanded.

This was the moment both of us had been waiting.

"Arthur, what if someone comes..." I tried to reason unconvincingly.

Arthur just disregarded any danger and went for it. We kissed for what seemed hours. Arthur's mouth over mine was now the center of my entire world. Well, and not only now. Arthur was everything I could think about at all hours, awake or asleep. My head was full of him. And then, when we were together like this... My heartbeat speeded up like crazy and my chest felt so tight.

In fact, with each kiss, with each stroke of Arthur's mouth, with each lick of Arthur's tongue, my symptomps only got worse and worse. I started to feel anxious inside only by seeing his handsome face. I wanted... I needed to know how Arthur felt about me... My desire for him was so intense that I hugged Arthur tighter against me as I gave myself completely to his kisses.

Some steps on the stairs to the rooftop made us move away and wipe our mouths with the back of our hands, in an attempt to erase any evidence of what we had been doing. Thankfully, we hadn't gone further and when two men came out the door, we were leaning innocently on the rail, the image of two friends relaxing, nothing suspicious.

"It's really tough doing it at work," Arthur commented in a low voice although the men weren't paying any attention to us.

"Want to go to the toilet?" I proposed dubiously. It wasn't a great place either but it was definitely better than the open space of the rooftop.

"No. You hate doing it at work, don't you?" He didn't wait for an answer. "I suppose we could go to a hotel after work." A hotel? Well, he had never before cared about the place that much. Was he trying to be considerate of me? "Ah! Didn't you say that you live near?"

Was he suggesting what I thought he was suggesting? "Mmmm... Yes, it's about 15 minutes by bus."

"Then, let's go to your place!"

Yes, he was suggesting exactly what I had imagined. "You said... Go to my place?" I checked. He really wanted to go to my flat. It seemed quite a step forward in whatever kind of relationship we had... "It's fine," I accepted before I had time to overthink things more than that. But a sudden thought made me change my mind quickly. "No! I can't today! And I should also clean a bit..." Well, that and hide all the Excalibur's films, magazines and posters I had.

"What?" You don't need to bother with that stuff!" Arthur exclaimed impatiently. Thanks god, he also changed his mind. "Although tomorrow is Friday..." He commented pensively. "We could spend the weekend together. And if you satisfy me, I will take you out to the cinema or something."

"Really...?!" And his smile seemed so sincere. Was it...? Was it a date?!

-~oOo0oOo~-

That evening, when I arrived home, I got to work quickly. First thing, I did a load of laundry with some of my dirty clothes and the beedsheets. Then, I went to tidy and clean everything. And the most important, I put any questionable item (that is Excalibur's things) inside drawers, cupboards or wardrobes. Oh! I still had the bathroom to clean!

I was working in a frenzy, afraid that I won't have time to rearrange everything that night since I wouldn't be able to do so the next morning before work and I supposed Arthur would want to come to my flat as soon as we would finish work. Of course, me being me, I soon ended face first on the floor surrondered by all the items I was trying to hide so carefully.

And there on the floor, I realised I was so nervous about the whole Arthur coming to my flat... Maybe it was... it was because I had feelings for him, didn't I? He was the only thing I could think about these last days and now... Now he wanted to come to my home! There had to be a reason for that!

Once more my mind started to jump ahead to wishful conclusions: What if he had something special in mind? What if he... if he wanted to confess his love for me?! Imagine that! We would be boyfriends! I had never before had a boyfriend. I had never imagined something like that could ever happen to me.

Since the whole fiasco at high school I had always thought I would never fall for someone because, come on, how could someone fall for a guy like me? But now that I had Arthur... Gods, I was so happy! I was so happy I could die! I couldn't wait for the following day!

-~oOo0oOo~-

"Get some snacks too!" Arthur ordered me.

We had already finished work for the week and the time had come to go to my flat together. Just that Arthur had considered it a good idea to stop at a supermarket before and get some beers and food. I hadn't thought about food at all the previous night so I was only happy to comply.

Anyway, there was a supermarket near my flat and it had taken us less than 5 minutes to get everything we needed.

"Did you get these too?" Arthur asked. Well, apparently we hadn't got everything since Arthur was showing me a box of condoms.

I startled and after checking nobody was looking at us, I denied with my head.

"Then we will need to buy some more." And he took like three or four different boxes!

"We don't need so many!" I whispered embarassed.

He didn't seem bothered in the least. "It's fine! We will use them all eventually."

I was very thankful when in the queue to pay, a guy shouted Arthur's name. He said he was an old friend of his and Arthur barely introduced me as a co-worker before deciding to go out to talk to his mate for a bit while I paid. It was more than fine with me. I really didn't want to see the face of the cashier when he saw the kind of items two grown-up men had just bought together.

However, my good chance was short lived since Arthur's friend kept glancing back at me as they were leaving. Why did he look at me like that? Had we seen each other before? Did he know me? It couldn't be... I remembered him. From high school...

I paid as soon as possible and rushed out with the bags to look for them. They weren't at the door. But I could hear voices coming from a side alley.

"The other guy not only rejected him but he also beat him up in front of everyone and then spred rumors about him. Because of that, Merlin became famous overnight. Everyone knew who he was and bullied him all the way to the graduation."

No! No! No! That guy was telling Arthur everything! I should run into that alley and put an end to that conversation but I felt as if I were rooted to the floor.

"Anyway, it seems he has overcome it. I bet he has already slept with lots of men!" They guy laughed.

What?!

"He doesn't seem that kind of guy," Arthur's voice answered dispassionately.

"But looks can be deceiving!" The other guy insisted.

"That's enough! You know nothing about Merlin!"

Was it possible that Arthur was defending me? That gave me the strenght to finally direct my steps to the alley.

"What's wrong with you?!" The irritated guy went on exclaiming. "Don't tell me you're starting to swing that way too?"

Swing that way? I stopped at the entrance of the alley, still unnoticed by any of them. This was a question I would like to know the answer to.

"Stop making stuff up, you arse!" Arthur shouted with his usual bad temper. "How can you suspect I'm gay?!"

"Honestly, you don't need to get so angry..." The guy tried to placate him.

"It's your fault for spouting nonsense! Why would I be one of those disgusting homos!"

I gasped.

Disgusting... He had used the exact same word Cendred had used to describe me all those years ago.

"Merlin," Arthur's voice called me softly when he discovered I had heard him.

My eyes, however, were glued to the pavement. I didn't want to look at him. I just wanted to leave.

"I... I don't feel very well today," I excused myself with a trembling voice. That was my cue to run away. I ran as I had never run before, the bags still in my hands.

"Wait! Merlin!" I heard Arthur shout after me but I didn't stop.

I didn't stop until I was safely home. And there I let my world fell apart.

-~oOo0oOo~-

" _Hey, you know? I've heard that guy is gay!_ " Their laughs still resonated in my ears. " _Ugh, that's disgusting! We shoudn't get too close if we don't want to catch homo germs!"_

After all those years, after such a painful lesson, I had made the same mistake again. I was such an idiot! How could I have thought that anyone in this world, specially someone as Arthur, would fall for someone like me?

I just wanted to die. I felt as if I had spent an eternity hiding under the covers of my bed, trying to forget I had once more built my hopes up just to realize the reality in the most cruel way possible. However, it could only have been a couple of days at most. If Monday had arrived and I hadn't gone to work, I was sure Gaius would have paid me a visit when I hadn't answered the phone. That, or I would have already died of hunger. Although for the way my stomach was rumbling...

I decided to finally do something. I had to face that Monday was just around the corner and I would have to go to work. I went to the kitchen and started to mircrowave a precooked dish I had in the freezer compartment. Perhaps, with some food in my stomach I could see things in another light. Not that things could get any better...

The sudden sound of the doorbell startled me. No one had ever visited me at home, apart from my mum, Gaius and some delivery guys.

"Who is it?" I asked cautiously after approaching the door.

"Express delivery," was the answer.

Express delivery? Had I ordered something? Or maybe it was a mistake.

I opened the door only to see a very furious Arthur behind it. I didn't react soon enough and before I knew it, Arthur had his fist on the door, preventing me from closing it.

"What's with you?!" He asked while my mind was still wondering why the hell he was there. "You even turned down your cell phone!"

Why did he care? And "How did you know I live here?" I dared to ask.

"When I want to, I can easily get that sort of information," he gloated. And just like that he moved me out of the way and struted into my home, closing the door after him.

I was rendered speechless for a moment. The nerve of the prat! He even went as far as examining my living room and commenting on how small my flat was!

I couldn't endure it any more! Why did he come?! I wanted him gone! I grabbed the sleeve of his coat and pulled at it as I cried, "Please leave!"

Arthur, of course, overpowered me in the blink of an eye and soon I was pinned against a wall, both of my wrists in his grip.

"Don't be mad," he said seriously. His face was a few centimetres from mine and he was looking at me intensely. "I didn't mean what I said. As everyone would have done, I wasn't going to tell my friend that I have sex with another man. But, anyway, it was wrong of me."

That was all he had to say. He released one of my wrists to caress lightly my chin as his lips started to descend upon mine.

"Let me go!" I took advantage of him letting his guard down to kiss me in order to escape his grasp. "Get out," I practically begged as I turned my back on him. I didn't want to know anything else about him. "I will never do that kind of things with you again," I affirmed more surely.

I had suffered enough. I only wanted it to end. I didn't look back at him as I went to the kitchen. He didn't need my help to get out and the microwave had undoubtely finished warming my food. As I took it out, however, I realised he hadn't left. On the contrary, he had followed me to the kitchen.

"What do you think you are doing?" His angry tone made me give him a sidelong glance. He seemed really irate, his arms crossed over his chest and his face contorted fiercely. "Don't you understand your position? You know what will happen if you don't do what I told you to, don't you?"

"I know," I mumbled in response. Of course I knew. I had understood – I was only a toy he used for his pleasure whenever he wanted but that he didn't doubt to toss aside when it was convinient. That was all I was. What I would always be. "I'm well aware of how much I'm worth. You don't need to apologize to me because what you said wasn't wrong: I _am_ a disgusting homo." I couldn't contain myself. "Don't worry, I will resign from the company, so you can go ahead and expose me to everyone if that's what you want!"

"What are you saying?" He asked confused. "Why do you have to be so bothersome?!"

There was no going back. My emotions were on fire. "Don't look down upon me!" For once, I was the one shouting but probably the effect was a bit diminished by the angry tears running down my cheeks. "I hate people like you!" Arthur was looking at me taken aback. "Even if it's someone like me, I still get hurt! Even if I'm a perverted homosexual who enjoys watching gay porn, I can fall for someone and have hope of having that someone fall in love with me too! Or don't I even have that privilege?!"

I hid my face on my hands as I continued sobbing uncontrollably. Without realising it, I leaned back into the kitchen's countertop and then down into the floor. I curled up into a ball, making me as small as I felt. In that moment, I really felt so pathetic. I didn't want him to look at me. Why did I fall for someone like him? Why him?

"I... I'm sorry..." I could hear the hesitance in his voice. "What I said was too harsh..."

Silence.

"Hey! Did you hear me?! Merlin!"

Of course I had heard. My sobs had subsided a bit but I simply refused to look up at him. I just wanted him to leave me alone in my misery.

"Stop acting like this!" He started to shout in displeasure. "I've already bowed down and apologized to you, what else do you want?!"

"Nothing! I said you don't have to apologize. You don't need to bother with me. Just leave!" Why couldn't he just leave? Why did he have to continue causing me more pain?

"You are so annoying!" He did seem very irritated but he sighed and said more clamly, "It was a slip of the tongue. I didn't mean to say that but I just... didn't know how to react, okay? It's my first time dating a guy and I'm confused..."

Dating? That had definitely captured my attention. I dared to raise my head a bit to look at his troubled expression. "You said... dating?" I checked. What did he mean with that? "You mean you and I..." I left the sentence hanging in the air.

He tsked as he run his hand through his air nerviously. I had never seen him like that. "That still needs to be said...?"

Was he serious? I was so astonished that I uncurled myself without thinking to stare dumbfounded at him. "But I... I've never heard anything from you about us dating..."

"We have already done everything else possible! Doesn't that count as dating?" He said heatedly. I wasn't sure relationships worked like that but I didn't have time to object as he continued with his ramblings. "And strictly speaking, aren't you the one who only wants me for my body?!" What? "I should sue you for treating me like a sex toy!" What?! The conversation was definitely taking a strange turn! "It is you who treats me as a substitute for that porn star you love some much! I'm really pissed off about that!" And he pouted and turned away from me, his hands on his hips.

I was really getting counfused with the whole situation. What was he saying? As I watched his shoulders move with his labored breathing in an attempt to calm himself I understood. It hadn't been my wishful thinking. I had been right...

"Arthur..." I whispered as I stood to approach him. Now I wanted to see his face. I settled my hand lightly on his shoulder and asked, "Is it possible that... you like me?"

Arthur faced me to answer, "So what? Is that a problem?"

I was rendred speechless. My hand slided down on his own accord, my eyes opened wide and my heart beat faster and faster as I tried to process this new revelation.

"I can't believe it..." I mumbled.

"What's with that reaction?" Arthur asked examining me closely.

"But... what do you like about me?" I couldn't help but answer. I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that someone as Arthur could find me attractive.

Arthur, however, was not the kind of guy to reassure me. As always, he got on the defensive and began to go off the topic at hand. "Why do we have to speak about such embarassing topics?! We aren't kids anymore! And, anyway, it's not like you have any right to question me when all you do is start to shake as soon as I step close to you! You even said I'm scary!"

"That... That's..." I tried to explain, "because you're always so... rough..."

"Me?! When?!" I knew he would react badly... "Didn't I always make you feel good?" But he was frowning at me. He was really listening to me!

This was my chance to ask Arthur... "No, it's not that, but... If it's possible... I would like you to be... more gentle with me..."

"What do you mean by 'more gentle'?" He snapped.

"For... for example," I stammered nerviously, "like in the romance movies... the way the main character treats his lover..."

"You, idiot, are you asking me to do something weird?" Arthur asked looking at me with suspicion.

"It was just an example!" I bit my lower lip and fidgeted uncomfortably.

He sighed and commented, "You really are a handful..." And then he grabbed my face in both his big hands and looking at me directly in the eyes, he promised, "It's all right. I'll be gentler with you."

In that exact moment, I was the luckiest man in the world.

-~oOo0oOo~-

Not an hour later and I had let Arthur convince me to have sex again. I was so excited about finally having a boyfriend that I had soon forgotten all about my insecurities and past troubles and had launched myself into a long rant about our love life:

"Oh, Arthur! We have just had our first important argument and we have got over it! Maybe... we're going too fast... But no, I've read in a book that after a fight like this it's a good idea to talk so that the couple can deepen their knowleldge of each other with open and honest discussions..."

Arthur had kissed me senseless right then to stop my babbling but that didn't prevent me from warning him, "They also said it's not a good idea to have sex right after such an argument..."

To which he had only said, "It's only losers who aren't compatible in bed that need to do that!"

And he had practically dragged me to the bathroom, where we ended in the shower naked, soaked and kissing as if there was no tomorrow. As every time before, our bodies molded to each other without effort and our mouths seemed to be made to fit perfectly.

However, there was something different. Arthur's kisses tasted sweeter and his touches felt softer on my skin. He was really trying to be gentler with me. He even whispered lovingly at me instead of ordering me around rudely.

"Turn around and place your hands against the wall," he directed and for once he didn't simply turned me around forcefully as he usually did.

And when he peppered my back with kisses... I couldn't stop shaking. I had never felt something like that... A sudden bite on one of my buttocks jolted me back to conscience. I turned around slightly just in time to look at a kneeling Arthur who gave me a heated sexy glance before going for my hole.

"Arthur!" I moaned wantonly. I couldn't believe it! He was licking and sucking me right there. I could feel his tongue diving into my entrance and caressing my insides... I could only tremble as I asked shocked, "Arthur... What are you doing? Don't..."

I felt so weak with pleasure that I had to hold to the wall if I didn't want to end on the floor. Gods... I couldn't bear so much pleasure... I squirmed to placate a bit all the confusing sensations.

"Stop struggling!" Arthur reprimanded me. "You could slip easily and get hurt." And he continued with his ministrations.

"But..." I tried to protest. "This is..."

"I have always wanted to try this..." He commented against my bottom as he went back to kissing my cheeks and lower back. "I want to explore every inch of your body... I want to understand it all... Will you let me?"

What could I say to that? Only, "It's just... I'm embarassed..."

I felt a puff of his breath against my naked skin as he smiled. "Just... Be a good boy and let me."

I followed his advice and subjected myself to all his wishes. I didn't protest any more as he fucked my entrace with his tongue or when he showed me the proper way of giving blowjobs. I only whimpered and shuddered as he make me come time and time again, without even penetrating me, without even coming once himself.

By the time we left the bathroom, I was already exhausted to the point I could barely move. He had given me the most exquisite pleasure, but once we reached my bed, it was time for his. This time, I didn't stop him either as he lay me on top of the sheets and proceeded to... No... This wasn't fucking. This was lovemaking.

He didn't ram into me forcibly or pinned my hands to the bed. It was nothing like what we always did. His hands explored my body softly and caressed me with tenderness. And his movements... They were deliberately slow, so much that I could feel perfectly his length going in and out of me. It was excruciating and at the same time so fulfilling...

"I... love you... Merlin," he confessed in a whisper.

My eyes filled with tears of happiness as I looked directly at his eyes, only a few centimeters from mine. He was staring back at me and I could only see truth in them.

"Why are you crying?" He wiped my tears away a bit put out. That wasn't probably the reaction he wanted.

"I'm so happy..." I explained, also trying to erase any tear from my face. I didn't want to ruin such a beautiful moment. "It's the first time anyone has ever said that to me."

His smile then was so blinding I didn't know what to think of it, until he clarified, "So I managed to take all your firsts, didn't I?" He pecked me on the lips and rested his forehead against mine. "It makes me really happy!"

It was my turn to reveal my feelings for him. "I love you, Arthur." And for the first time since I met him, I was the one to initiate the kiss.

And we kissed and kissed and well, made love, until nothing mattered any more. I didn't care for all the pain and sorrow of the past. Every bad experience I had had in my life was more than worth it if it had led me to Arthur and the true happiness of that moment. Arthur was my real light.

-~oOo0oOo~-

The first thing my drowsy mind noticed when I started to wake up sounded suspicionsly like moans of pleasure. Moans? I sat up lazily and rubbed my eyes.

"Arthur..." I practically mumbled. "What are you doing?" I only discerned him sitting at my desk.

"What the hell!" He swore. "I don't look like this guy at all! I'm one hundred times better than him!"

Then I understood. I sprang out of bed inmediately but it was too late. Arthur was watching one of my Excalibur's films on my own laptop. And not only that, he had a bunch of his videos and magazines and posters scattered all over the desk!

"That's my Excalibur's collection!" I exclaimed with shock as on the screen Excalibur continued fucking another actor. I had hidden them away so carefully. How had he been able to find them?!

Before I had time to react, Arthur started to pick everything up and put it into piles. "It goes in the trash," he proclaimed seriously.

What?! "Wait a minute, Arthur!" I exclaimed almost in a panic as I tried to seize anything I could. "You can throw that away! That's the photobook I won online! And that's his first appearance film! It's no longer in production!"

"You're so damn noisy!" Arthur shouted and glared at me. "You still want to watch this sort of stuff?!"

His expression scared me a little but... "But... I spent a lot of money on them... And... somehow... it's part of my past... A part of me..." I denfended. "I'm not mentally prepared to..."

Arthur's face softened at my explanation. "But you don't need them any more, right?" He lifted my chin to stare straight into my eyes and then he said it, "Because from now on, I will be a superstar that belongs only to you."

Wow!

Those were the cheesiest lines I had ever heard. And Arthur had been able to utter them just like that, without a second thought. However, my lack of response due to my astonishment seemed to annoy him again.

"Aren't you willing?" He asked indignantly.

"Eh?! No... It's not that...It's just... I'm so happy..." I answered not very eloquently.

"Hmph... I would think so," Arthur remarked, his typical smirk back in full force. "Because, seriously, no matter where you look, you won't be able to find a guy better than me. You are really lucky!"

"Yes, I am," I agreed readily with an adoring smile.

Because, despite his bad temper, despite all his faults, Arthur had done something no one had ever done for me before. Something I had never thought possible. He had brought happiness and love to my life.

-~oOo0oOo~-

Thanks for reading!


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